My Journey With PMDD

Up until a few years ago the term PMDD wasn’t very well known, PMS/PMT was often talked about but not PMDD. Thankfully it’s now becoming a recognized condition due to the press attention and people in the medical profession talking about it and the devasting impact it can have on women. Professor John Studd is one of those professionals who have worked tirelessly to treat women with PMDD and raise awareness. Hormonal health is something we understand at hapihealth, we have lived and breathed it and for me personally, it was PMDD. I have always suffered with my hormones from a young age, severe PMS from my teens, then after my children, I suffered quite badly from post-natal depression which resulted in me suffering from PMDD, which is an extreme form of PMS. However, looking back I do wonder if it was PMDD back then rather than post-natal depression. It first started with a week-a-month PMDD hell week – the week before my period. For years I put it down to hormones mixed with PMS and still blamed post-natal depression, even years later. During that week, I would crave carbs and sugar; I couldn’t sleep properly and had terrible PMDD insomnia which is like mental torture. I was irrational, irritable, and angry. Within the PMDD community, this week is known as ‘ PMDD hell week’. Then in my mid-40s, it changed quite dramatically and became two weeks out of every month. I changed as a person, and I mean change! During that time, I became withdrawn as well as dealing with anger, depression, and irrational behaviour. I would avoid calls, I would get the children sorted for school then creep back to bed – my bed became my refuge, the only place I felt safe and hidden away from the world. I ran my own business publishing local magazines which on the plus side I didn’t have to answer anyone, on the downside I didn’t return calls even ones I knew were important. PMDD is so hard to explain to anyone who has never suffered – it’s like for a period of time someone has rewired you for a couple of weeks. I was rude, aggressive, short-tempered – generally, someone I wouldn’t like! I made some bad decisions during what is known as my ‘PMDD Hell week’. Many that can’t be undone – I blame PMDD partly for my marriage breaking up. Along with this as a naturally anxious person anyway, I started to have dreadful panic attacks which appeared suddenly out of nowhere and without warning. I was prescribed anti-depressants by my doctor – the ‘go to’ medication for PMDD normally from doctors! All the doctors wanted to do was throw more anti-depressants at me which I didn’t feel comfortable with and didn’t help in the long term. I remember sitting in my doctor’s room, collapsed in a heap begging her to help me as I genuinely felt I couldn’t carry on for the rest of my life like this. From the outside I had everything and after my ‘PMDD Hell week’ I would go into overdrive the opposite way which is common. I was loud, vivacious, confident, bossy, and full of energy. I think this is why PMDD is often misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder. You are on a roller coaster, one minute on a high and the next on a real low. It’s also really hard on the people closest to you, I hid it well from my children, but friends and family found it hard to see me like that. Also, because I wasn’t the nicest person to be around, I often look back on that time and it makes me shudder. Finally, after 6 years of trying many different medications and treatments, I got an appointment with a well-respected Gynaecologist and immediately felt like a huge weight had been lifted. In the past when I mentioned PMDD, I was dismissed, but this consultant was actually hearing me and agreeing with me! He understood PMDD and was sympathetic. He also advised me that progesterone was not my friend, which made sense really as HRT, the contraceptive pill etc had always made me worse. I was so overwhelmed – in a good way! That I burst into tears, and I finally felt like someone was listening and could help me. Because I was 48 and had had children, it was decided that a hysterectomy was my best option, so in 2017 that was what I did and I haven’t looked back since. During my six-week recovery, I started to research natural alternatives – with this newfound freedom I wanted to rid my body of all the toxicity. After my operation I decided, I didn’t want to carry on taking more pills than a chemist! I wanted this to be a new start – I felt quite liberated! I found out so much about what natural herbs, extracts and botanicals can do. We forget that they have been used for thousands of years to treat many ailments. This is one of the reasons that hapihealth was born and our hapihormone patch. We chose the transdermal delivery method, as for us it’s a tried and tested formula. Transdermal delivery ensures all the powerful ingredients are released directly into the bloodstream. For me, like many women, I suffer from my tummy and gut health, so avoiding my digestive system is a win-win. You can read more about transdermal delivery here. All the ingredients in the hapihormone patch have been carefully chosen by us because they work. They are not a miracle cure, and they won’t stop PMDD in its tracks, but it helps. You can read more on these natural ingredients and how they work here. Collagen is another supplement that can also help us ladies! This is why we also have a super marine collagen supplement with additional beneficial ingredients. Now at 54 I finally feel I am the best version of myself since I was in my 30s. I feel sad that I lost my 40s in such darkness and feel so much for my children – but at least now I have my life and feel great. Thankfully now PMDD is really starting to get the press it deserves now with many well-known people speaking out about their personal experiences. I wouldn’t want anyone to go on for so long as I did. Doctors and health professionals need to be educated in this area and not keep pushing anti-depressants at women – it’s not the solution. Our aim is to bring YOU high-quality formulations that are not only natural but also effective and help you find your hapi place again. For more information on PMDD and PMS organisations such as Mind, IAPMD and NHS are good places to start